We all have secrets! Deep dark secrets! But who else did you share it with? Why doesn’t someone close know? Why haven’t you able to share this information? Hmm let’s see, maybe you are afraid of being inadequate and vulnerable. Perhaps afraid of being judged. You think if the feelings, the emotions and the secrets some how surface you might not fit the societal “norms”. You feel people won’t understand. You feel by keeping the emotions closed within you might make things right for the other person and keep them at peace. However, this is what you are missing, it’s shortening your life expectancy bit by bit everyday when you keep your emotions supressed.
Bottling your emotions…
Everyone deals and copes with emotions differently. If a person has faced trauma such as rape, death in the family, etc. It’s okay to not revisit those memories. But if the emotions are building up then express how you are feeling, vent and let them out. There is no need to revisit and describe the what happened, what caused the traumatic situation. However, your current emotions need to be out in the open to the universe and you need to be heard.
Some of you had a really unpleasant, unfortunate past and or living situation. Most people who suppress emotions had a bad childhood, faced dysfunctional family situation. They saw separation and emotional imbalance between their parents when they were growing up. They wanted all the love and all the affection. Every kid wants that! However, when asking is not enough to receive any form of affection, they learn to suppress emotion. That becomes their, “normal”. The mentality: expressing doesn’t change anything, so why share or maybe expressing makes things worse, then why share?!
Some people are really good at putting up a wall and pushing people away because they are afraid of receiving hurt and or hurting due to their past experiences. They feel vulnerable when someone get’s really close to their emotions. They feel as how society see’s vulnerability as, a sign of weakness. Some people like to always focus on happier distractions to avoid the fact of suppressing a negative emotion. They would like to forget. But it’s always thee just building up!
All feelings cannot be shared at the heat of the moment. I get you can’t just go in and yell at your boss to tell them that you work for a stupid idiot! Yes, that would be quite awesome though due to certain consequences it’s just not realistic. However, that shouldn’t stop you from expressing your thoughts. This should not be the reason why you just go with the flow. Get a grip on your emotions, be strong! Phrase what you are thinking correctly, then share the information with the that person over a one and one chat or via email. You’re thoughts matter! When you are suppressing your emotions just to please the other person the relationship is NOT sustainable. This will be the reason why you are unhappy inside. It will slowly kill you both mentally and physically.
The more you keep in the more you are dying! Statistics show 35% of youth die due to not sharing their emotions. Also suppression leads to 47% heat diseases and 70% percent increase in Cancer cells. Suppression of emotions is the lead cause of low immune system. It causes your arteries to harden, stiffen joints and also weaken your bones. Suppression of emotions is a form of negative energy that you are building up every day. You are taking away positives and replacing it with negative within you.
How to fight it?
Share! Talk! Speak! No one will judge you! Yes, we know you can fight your own battles all by yourself but doesn’t have to be that way! Sharing is not taking your battle away from you. You will feel a lot lighter if you share. It will help you clear your path for the battle and make it some what smoother. It will make things better. Despite popular belief, vulnerability is NOT a sign of weakness. To avoid long term hurt don’t keep things in! You have to realize hurt is enviable. There is nothing you can do to avoid that. Let the other person know of your true feelings. Be honest! If you forecast issues, communicate and talk about it in advance. Let’s make the relationship a healthier one rather than a toxic one.
Now, some people feel that the only way to let feelings out and coping is by speaking to someone! NO! Find your release. Go gym, go to a swimming class, go to a paining class, go sing, go travel, go on an adventure, read etc. Remember, you don’t ever have to describe your hard past, just have to let your current emotions out so the weight lifts off. Don’t add extra weight!
If you ever need to speak about suppression, emotions, hard past, relationship, parenting, how to cope with certain situations, career, business or just anything you can always message me! My contact information is on the side navigator.