When someone say’s No…
Yes, we’ve all been there! We all faced rejection more than once in our lives. Whether be it in relationships, job interviews, business ideas, you name it. But why does it hurt so bad? Why can’t we just accept and move on right away? Why does that, “NO” sting like a deadly Yellow Jacket bee!
Rejection activates the same areas of the brain equally as when we feel physical pain. Though, we forget how physical pain once felt but we definitely hold on to social pain. We can vividly recall and re-live the emotional discomfort we felt when we got rejected. But we can’t recollect the feeling for a past physical pain we experienced.
Rejection takes a Shot at our Self-esteem…
Perhaps we all have a BIG head full of ego! Maybe we are a bit stubborn at heart. Perhaps it hurts a hell lot because we all set our hope on something; however in return we don’t wind up receiving what we hoped for. We want what we want right??!
Then comes the question, Why? Why did we get rejected? We talk ourselves into thinking it’s us. Must be ME! John doesn’t like me! hmm must be because I am not good looking enough, maybe because of how I speak, or wait am I too fat? I got rejected from that job because I am not deserving. My business idea got turned down again, I should quit, I am a failure in life. Negative!
Rejection is when both parties are not a perfect fit for each other, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you! If someone say’s the word “NO!”, it’s because they have their own list of preferences and we don’t match. We are guilty of being denial as well, we all have our own preference list! We would most likely say no to someone who doesn’t fit our needs but we forget that instantly in our situation. This is the same reason why our favorite company we always wanted to work for rejects us. There were thousands of applicants and someone else better fit’s their criteria. And here is the big one, if a business idea is rejected and the next route is quitting, then I question why you chose to become an entrepreneur in the first place!
Two types of thinkers …
There are two types of thinkers when it comes to rejection, 1. who sulks and sulks forever and 2. who adapts. Which one are you?
If you chose number one, the Sulker, then toughen up sweetheart! You are wasting time. When you are facing rejection, the best thing to do is open a journal to document your feelings, or call a close one and vent, next step: Move on…
I am the one in he middle, I sulk and adapt pretty darn quickly. Rejection stings for a bit, it’s human nature. But there is a lesson attached to every rejection in life. If everything we ever wanted was handed easily to us, we won’t get the opportunity to work hard for it. We would lose the value and importance of that want. Plus, that would take away great learning prospect which would make us all pretty darn stupid! Rejection is important in life, it makes us stronger. The best skill to learn from rejection is how to become a great negotiator.
If a party say’s no, instead of sulking try to understand why it’s a no. Ask the right questions. If you ask the right questions, maybe you can work your way to a yes. If it’s still a no then get feedback. Getting feedback is important, this will help us improve. Never forget to keep in touch. There is no reason to stop keeping a connection with someone or a party who has rejected you. If you keep in touch, you never know what the future holds.
Don’t be a Sulker!